Stoned Time

    [A few months ago I was sitting alone in an IHOP at midnight or one in the morning, then I wrote the following (albeit slightly edited). After this experience it is my suspicion that a person can't know who they are until they are sitting by themselves in a booth at midnight with a drink, a pen, and a notebook.]

    To look back or to reflect. We all rummage through those old cabinets of memories from time to time. Oddly enough, It's 'time to time' that makes up memories. Well... time provides a consistent (time is not consistent *nods to Einstein* but that's not important for this) scale by which we can measure memories.
    Tonight I am rummaging, I am looking back on my life. Honestly It's the only thing on which I can look back. Tonight I establish a marker, not a milestone. No, that is for measuring miles...distance. Rather, tonight I set upright in my memory a... sort of memorystone.... a timestone. Yes, I think I will call it a timestone. Tonight, I graduate.
    From what? To where? Why now? What do I mean graduate? Tonight was the end of high school. Actually the graduation ceremony was two weeks ago. My senior theatre production was one week ago. This afternoon was my last speech and debate performance; but that's not the reason tonight is the timestone. I'm not getting a break from school work. I'm going straight into summer school and then college work. I will see my friends again. I'm not moving out for another month or two. Why do I place the timestone tonight?
    Tonight I actually feel slight remorse, that all of this is ending. It's not much, nothing more than a slight pause for most people, but for me... it's strange. For me, it is the point of graduation. Now, right now, right here, I remember and I feel. It's so strange. It's so new. I think this is what attachment feels like. I have only felt this once perhaps twice before. My best friend, I feel attached to her; but I decided to do it as well. I decided that I would be a friend to her before I felt it. So do I go back to here? Do I keep attached or do I let it go as most things require? Am I attached to these people? "I don't know. I don't understand. Leave me alone!" (very few people in this world would understand that quote, don't worry if you didn't)
    Is this what love grows to feel like? I do love these people. I care about their well being. I help them as I can. I do all that I think love would do. Yes, yes I love these people, and that love may fade with time but I will try to remember this and then I will feel and I will try to love them again.

    [Perhaps I shouldn't write after being awake for two days straight, while getting ready for a several hour long performance. I don't even know what I was trying to say when I wrote this. If you didn't understand any of this then, I leave you with a song. Extra points to the person who knows the song just by reading the lyrics.]

Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
The battle's done and we kind-of won,
so we sound our victory cheer.
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When we know home is near.
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear. (Tell me)
Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
When do the trumpets cheer?
The curtain's closed on a kiss,
God knows we can tell the end is near.
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?