Prepared Marriage

     Last week I read book titled, Letters to Philip. It was written by Charlie W. Shedd. It is a series of letters from a father who is a pastor and counselor on the topic of marriage and specifically on a man's role in it. Now I'm not married, so take my opinion as one who has no first hand experience with a wife. I enjoyed it so much that I read the entire book in two days. (not a spectacular feat in itself, the book isn't that large, but considering my schedule...) In fact I thought it was so insightful that I went and checked out the sister book of, Letters to Karen, written by the same man. I am now planning on going back and rereading the book slowly. Often, especially in the christian community, I think we don't properly prepare the next generation for marriage. It isn't a surprise to me when the divorce rate is higher than 50%. How many huge decisions will you make life near to the importance of finding a wife (or husband)? Career and college are the closest of which I can think. The book was less on finding a wife, though I have read several on that subject, and more on describing how to relate to your wife and common problems and solutions. Like I said I've never been married so my praise of the book is both untested and difficult to articulate. I found the 29 letters worth reading and I hope to one day discover if his ideas actually work.
     Were you well prepared for marriage? How do you plan on preparing your children for the big decision? Finally, if you are married, what do you love most about your spouse?

Friendly Proverbs Continued

This is a continuation of the list from my last post.
      A wise person...
Acknowledges God in all his ways
Honors God with what he has
Loves God's correction
Is happy when he finds wisdom
Doesn't keep good from those who deserve it
Is trustworthy
Doesn't strive with a man, unless he has a cause to do so
Stays away from whores
Gets out of bad contracts quickly
Is not lazy
Has or gives good council
Has common sense
Loves someone who rightly rebukes him
Receives instruction
Stores knowledge
Restrains his lips
Keeps peace with his neighbors
Doesn't betray confidences
Listens to advice
Talks only when it is right
Chooses his friends wisely
Listens to his parents
Walks with people who are wise
Runs away from someone when he finds they are a fool
Is not quick tempered
Merciful on the poor
Slow to wrath
Shares knowledge
Seeks knowledge
Makes his father happy (if possible and right)
Will be called prudent
Speaks wisdom
Develops a reputation for being wise
Is teachable
Has a calm spirit
Speaks cautiously
Is not led astray by alcohol
Sees when sin is coming and removes themselves from it
People in authority are drawn to him
Doesn't drink when he controls the fate of others

     During my study I found many repetitions which I did not include in my list. The most common description was in regards to what the "wise" man says. It would appear that what one says is very important in how one is perceived. I find several things interesting but I would like to say that I have no training in Hebrew nor am I a scholar of theology, so I leave myself open to correction.
     I noticed that it didn't say the wise man never got angry or wrathful, he is just slow to wrath and he doesn't strive with a man, without a cause. The wise man also must be quick to listen both to criticism and instruction. If someone, human or God Himself, corrects the man rightly or rebukes him correctly, it should cause him to love that person all the more. I will admit this last concept is one that I see rarely. In the future I will endeavor to  put this and all the other criteria into practice.
     Now that you have seen all this, do you consider yourself to be a 'wise' person? Are you becoming wiser and developing relationships with wise people?

Friendly Proverbs

     The well know passage from Proverbs seventeen begins something like this, "A friend loves at all times..." That seems like a fairly good description of a friend to me. Last year when I moved to a new state I decided that I would try to make the best friends I could, this seemed like a great plan but there was one problem. How do I know who would make a good friend? How do I know if they will 'love at all times'? Also in the book of Proverbs, It says that "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." I wish to become wise and I do not desire to suffer harm, my answer was simple, I will become friends with wise people. Again I found myself in a small conundrum. How do I know if a person is wise? It was at this point that I set out on a journey through (the book of) Proverbs making a list of what it directly says regarding the characteristics of a wise person. Here is the basic outline that I derived from my study.

A wise person...
Listens
Learns
Gets wise advice
Listens to his dad
Obeys his mother
Stays away from situations where others are sinning
Has discretion
Has understanding
Stays away from people who
...say perverse things
...rejoice in evil
...cheat
...flatter
Trusts the Lord
Doesn't trust his own knowledge

     This is the first part of my list and I would continue writing, but alas I must arise earlier than usual and, subsequently, need to get some rest before I do so. I will try to continue this shortly, (as opposed to finishing this longly).
     How do you and how did you choose your friends? Did you just happen upon them and fall into friendship? Did you specifically seek a few of them out and try to become friends? Lastly I would like to ask you a more personal question. Are you a good friend?