School Confidence

    Milton once claimed "Confidence imparts a wondrous inspiration to its possessor.--It bears him on in security, either to meet no danger, or to find matter of glorious trial." Confidence here I remind you is not to be miss-defined as arrogance. Confidence is indeed something that must be built, and a long term project it is. I do not mean an empty hollow confidence which is merely a facade. I am referring to knowing that you can trust yourself, that in a tight situation you have the ability to overcome it, no matter what it may be.
    In my classes which started recently, I was quickly reminded of of how little true confidence there is in these students. They go about perfectly fine in their own small world with their own small friends. I'm talking about high school students who look well enough at a quick glance. Really, they are talking to each other and getting average grades and paying average attention to the teacher, but is that true confidence? I see a lack to critical thinking and logic. They are like walking computers programed with specific responses to specific questions so they can pass the standardized problems in life. Every once in a while I see one of them faced with and problem outside their small comfort zone, and just like a PC (sorry I couldn't resist my inner nerd) they crash. They crash back onto their parents or a teacher to bail them out and solve whatever it was. Now I'm not knocking reasonable help. God knows we need it from time to time and there are several students I've notice with good self-confidence.
    I was blessed with parents, and a father specifically who laid the foundations of analytical thinking and troubleshooting in me at a young age. He gave me problems to solve and taught me to think in a very real and applicable way. The experiences that he gave me, the experiences that he allowed me to acquire are an integral part of my self-confidence. Sure I failed, rather often. I made a fool out of my self once or twice, but less of a fool than the kid next to me, who didn't try at all, probably looks today. I am confident that I will fail sometimes. I am confident that even if I fail I will learn from my mistakes. I am confident that the reward is worth the risk.
    Dad here's to you. Thanks for all the experiences and pushes you gave me. I can figure out what's wrong with that engine and fix it, just as easily as I can talk to my state representative. I can design a small website, just as easily as I can write poetry. I can learn my way around a sound system from scratch, just as easily as I can cook a sage apple stir-fry from scratch. Because you taught me how to have confidence, I can do all these things and more. You showed me how to learn something I didn't know. Thank you.

Motherly Advice

    The well known President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln once said, "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." The less known President, John Quincy Adams, had stated earlier, "All that I am my mother made me." Now I'm not going to address how I believe that there should be a stronger fatherly influence especially in today's American culture where most children grow up without a father figure at all.
    I want to mention something I have noticed especially in the home-schooling (That is, the child's parents, mostly mothers, teach them at home or in small classes together with other home-schoolers. Usually based in Judeo-Christian morals and beliefs.) community near me. I'm certainly not sexist in the usual sense of the word. I do, however, believe that men and women have equal yet different roles. I see that the seventeen, eighteen, year old seniors are not what I would hope they would be. I would hope that I could say, 'Look at this next generation of men and women, they are ready to change the world.' instead I look and think to myself (for a large part), 'Another bunch of boys and girls, when will they grow up?' I observe that perhaps moms, you should let your kids grow up. If your son misplaced his cell phone, don't crawl around on your hands and knees looking for it while he just stands there. Mothers, maybe, your job isn't to take care of your children at this age. It might be to raise them up to be men and women. You might have to let them make some mistakes. Moms don't answer questions directed at your kids, if your "kids" are capable of doing so on their own.
    John Stuart Mill once said "Men are men before they are lawyers, or physicians, or merchants, or manufacturers; and if you make them capable and sensible men, they will make themselves capable and sensible lawyers or physicians." Mothers, love your sons, give them that advice about the weather and how he might need a jacket, but in the end try to raise them to be capable and sensible.
    I would like to praise all the mother's out there. The work you do to raise your children is incredibly difficult. I am not trying to belittle you or what you do, just suggesting a possible way to improve. My mother needed incredible patience and perseverance with me (can't you tell), so here's thanks to you mom.
    What do you most appreciate about your mother?

Meant for Many

See the place for many, when empty.
But slowly now it starts to fill,
and the noise it begins to rise.
Faces friendly and faces not
looking to and fro,
for their own small space in that place.

They gather here and there, I notice
with the him or her they most prefer.
And every now and then I spot,
a certain he or she,
who is by chance or purpose,
making their place with me.

www.mattspoems.com/home/meant-for-many

Regretful Opportunities

     One of the strongest feelings I have ever felt is regret. It eats at your soul, asking questions about what could have been. It hides in the past where you can't touch it, and attacks your mind in the present. I regret many things, both large and small, the many chances I missed and the many opportunities I saw and yet chose to ignore. I take the known path and it gives me security. It keeps me safe, in a way. I have often chosen to take the road more traveled and it has made life, predictable. Martin Luther King once said that "For truth and duty it is ever the fitting time; who waits until circumstances completely favor his undertaking, will never accomplish anything" I believe I am inclined to agree with him.
     While I was out of town this summer, I attended a two week conference. The seats were assigned and I sat next to a nice young lady for about eight hours a day, everyday for those two weeks. Now I did meet some amazing people though, if you ever met them, they will testify to the fact that I'm not the best at making friends. I regret, however, that I didn't get to know the young lady sitting next to me. I watched her, observed her if you will, but I didn't get to know her. I could tell you she was sweet and kind with a soft smile that made you want to smile with her. I could tell her handwriting out of a hundred others but I couldn't tell much about her, about the person. Opportunity, that is an understatement, all that time I spent so engaged in what I needed to hear and learn that I found a 'logical' reason for not making small talk. I used a good reason, a good objective as a mere shield to keep others at a distance. I missed the chance to get to known a unique individual because I had 'more important' things to do, or at least that's what I told myself. I always want the timing to be just right before I put myself out there. I always need to know the circumstances before I risk anything, even if the risk is almost nothing at all. I'm going to try to seize more opportunities when they come my way, even if they are not 'completely favoring my undertaking'. Will you?
     I would love to know what has happened to you because you didn't miss an opportunity? What chances have you taken that proved to be completely worth it in the end?

Believable Apologies

     A man named C. Simmons once claimed that "Accurate knowledge is the basis of correct opinions; the want of it makes the opinions of most people of little value." For the most part I can say that I agree with Mr. Simmons; however, I think that the opinions or rather I would say that the beliefs of people matter a great deal, to them.
     If people act based on what they value or on what they consider to be important, then it might be advantageous to learn how people determine value or worth. In order to find this I believe that the answer lies in the fundamental answers to life's most important questions, like 'who am I?' 'from where did I come?' 'is there a god?' 'what is right and wrong?'. The person, who believes that he (or she) is a massive collection of cells that evolved from some 'lower' life form, is going to value different things than the person who believes that they were uniquely created in the likeness of an infinite god. Just as someone who thinks that everything is merely a part of one large life force that cycles around, will behave differently than the person who says 'we are all gods you just have to get away from all the distractions to find your true god-self.'
     Now it's not like every time we do anything we say 'wait a minute...what do I believe about this?' No certainly not. If people's actions are based in beliefs, it would have to be, for the most part, subconscious. Now using this premise, essentially that 'ultimately people's actions are determined in large part by their fundamental beliefs or assumptions about the world', I am going to be writing on several areas of 'belief' having to do with those big life questions in some of my future blog posts.
    But right now I'm curious, just in general what do you value in life? What do you want to get out of life?

Post Script: I apologize for not having written in a while, I have been out of town for the past month or two.

Timely Questions

    "What is time?-The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer an winter, months, years, centuries-these are but the arbitrary and outward signs-the measure of time, not time itself. Time is the life of the soul." Thus stated the great poet known to many simply by his last name, Longfellow.
    Indeed I believe that most people have asked that question at one point in their life or another. What is time? It should be among the great human inquires next to 'Who am I?' and 'Why am I here?'. If one approached me for the answer to that question I would likely stop, and think very intently for quite a while...and then I would say something similar to this, 'As a single piece of paper is to a book, so is each moment to that great concept called time. A piece of paper is (almost) two dimensional. If removed from a book it tells but a part of the story, explains only a portion of the equation, shows only half of the proverb. Books are three dimensional and they tell the complete story, explain the entire equation, and show the whole proverb. Each single moment which we are able to comprehend is composed of three dimensions. Time is that fourth dimension. Something must first exist, it must then have depth and height for it to be perceived, and finally time, so that the thing might grow, evolve, and affect other things. That is time.
    Somehow I don't feel that my answer is any any better than Longfellow's. In fact I would say my answer is slightly confusing. We could say "time is the life of the soul" and that's all very well and good; but then I would question "what is the life of the soul"? Could anyone answer that question rightly? Perhaps time is less something to be defined, and more something to be felt.
    So I ask...What is time to you?

Prepared Marriage

     Last week I read book titled, Letters to Philip. It was written by Charlie W. Shedd. It is a series of letters from a father who is a pastor and counselor on the topic of marriage and specifically on a man's role in it. Now I'm not married, so take my opinion as one who has no first hand experience with a wife. I enjoyed it so much that I read the entire book in two days. (not a spectacular feat in itself, the book isn't that large, but considering my schedule...) In fact I thought it was so insightful that I went and checked out the sister book of, Letters to Karen, written by the same man. I am now planning on going back and rereading the book slowly. Often, especially in the christian community, I think we don't properly prepare the next generation for marriage. It isn't a surprise to me when the divorce rate is higher than 50%. How many huge decisions will you make life near to the importance of finding a wife (or husband)? Career and college are the closest of which I can think. The book was less on finding a wife, though I have read several on that subject, and more on describing how to relate to your wife and common problems and solutions. Like I said I've never been married so my praise of the book is both untested and difficult to articulate. I found the 29 letters worth reading and I hope to one day discover if his ideas actually work.
     Were you well prepared for marriage? How do you plan on preparing your children for the big decision? Finally, if you are married, what do you love most about your spouse?