Self Sellers

The concept that one can purchase pleasure is perhaps the oldest con known to man. The vender of pleasure promises that which he cannot possibly give, and that which he does give is more like to a drug for the enslavement of the masses than a thing of enjoyment. Millions of people go out and try desperately to drown out their own minds with the loudest music and the strongest drinks. They are told that everything is fine, and the world is alright. There is nothing wrong with them and they just need to relax and enjoy themselves. A little pleasure will make them feel better. It will alleviate the doubts and questions that fill their minds.
And so we distract ourselves with the most meaningless things and activities that have nothing to profit anyone, this is what we sell as pleasure. This is the existence we choose, but it doesn't have to be.
I challenge you, and your friends, and myself to this, create pleasure with love and with true actions based in reality. For there is nothing wrong with pleasure, if we control it. If we are aware of ourselves, but if we are merely trying to distract our thoughts, then indeed, it is one of the greatest evils.

Stoned Time

    [A few months ago I was sitting alone in an IHOP at midnight or one in the morning, then I wrote the following (albeit slightly edited). After this experience it is my suspicion that a person can't know who they are until they are sitting by themselves in a booth at midnight with a drink, a pen, and a notebook.]

    To look back or to reflect. We all rummage through those old cabinets of memories from time to time. Oddly enough, It's 'time to time' that makes up memories. Well... time provides a consistent (time is not consistent *nods to Einstein* but that's not important for this) scale by which we can measure memories.
    Tonight I am rummaging, I am looking back on my life. Honestly It's the only thing on which I can look back. Tonight I establish a marker, not a milestone. No, that is for measuring miles...distance. Rather, tonight I set upright in my memory a... sort of memorystone.... a timestone. Yes, I think I will call it a timestone. Tonight, I graduate.
    From what? To where? Why now? What do I mean graduate? Tonight was the end of high school. Actually the graduation ceremony was two weeks ago. My senior theatre production was one week ago. This afternoon was my last speech and debate performance; but that's not the reason tonight is the timestone. I'm not getting a break from school work. I'm going straight into summer school and then college work. I will see my friends again. I'm not moving out for another month or two. Why do I place the timestone tonight?
    Tonight I actually feel slight remorse, that all of this is ending. It's not much, nothing more than a slight pause for most people, but for me... it's strange. For me, it is the point of graduation. Now, right now, right here, I remember and I feel. It's so strange. It's so new. I think this is what attachment feels like. I have only felt this once perhaps twice before. My best friend, I feel attached to her; but I decided to do it as well. I decided that I would be a friend to her before I felt it. So do I go back to here? Do I keep attached or do I let it go as most things require? Am I attached to these people? "I don't know. I don't understand. Leave me alone!" (very few people in this world would understand that quote, don't worry if you didn't)
    Is this what love grows to feel like? I do love these people. I care about their well being. I help them as I can. I do all that I think love would do. Yes, yes I love these people, and that love may fade with time but I will try to remember this and then I will feel and I will try to love them again.

    [Perhaps I shouldn't write after being awake for two days straight, while getting ready for a several hour long performance. I don't even know what I was trying to say when I wrote this. If you didn't understand any of this then, I leave you with a song. Extra points to the person who knows the song just by reading the lyrics.]

Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
The battle's done and we kind-of won,
so we sound our victory cheer.
Where do we go from here?
Why is the path unclear?
When we know home is near.
Understand we'll go hand in hand,
But we'll walk alone in fear. (Tell me)
Where do we go from here?
When does the end appear?
When do the trumpets cheer?
The curtain's closed on a kiss,
God knows we can tell the end is near.
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go from here?

Historical Tournaments

    These past few months have been rather busy, but things are starting to wind down now. For example I just went to my last debate tournament of the season. As tradition with my club on the last night we all went out to a specific restaurant before the final placement announcements. I'm usually a quiet person. I don't tend to talk unless there is good reason. I always try to have something worth hearing before I speak. Well anyway, during dinner the conversation degraded to talking about Nazi Germany and about how one of the club members had German ancestry. It quickly became 'ha ha my grandfather killed your grandfather...' ect. Which nearly everyone thought was funny. I see this as terribly foolish. Not only is it degrading to those men and women who fought and died so these...kids could have the freedom they take for granted; it also devalues human life. They were casting history into the dirt of meaninglessness. Now I care about these things enough to not do it myself but I don't think it's my place to tell them not to. I certainly might ask, 'please don't talk about this', but I won't tell them not to do it.
    One particular mindset of mine came into action during this conversation. I consider any woman near me to also be 'under my protection' unless there is another person to whom that responsibility falls. Please understand this is not because I consider women to be weak. On the contrary I consider them to be remarkably strong and I have such a respect for them, I consider their well being to be important. I try to be chivalrous, out of respect. I try to be a knight in my own time as much as I can.
    You may be seeing how these two things coincide. During the conversation the young lady sitting across from me expressed that she was not comfortable laughing at those things. She said she didn't think it was right and asked to change the topic. I still haven't said anything in this conversation and that's not unusual for me; but, two of the guys start pressing the lady trying to get her to laugh, going on and on. I have a problem with that. I have a problem with anyone who purposefully tries to get someone to violate their own conscious. These guys thought it was funny to get her to do something which she said she didn't want to do because she thought it was wrong. Then I said one thing. It was a question. 'Why do you derive pleasure from causing her to do something, she has expressed interest not to do?'
    It never ceases to amaze me just how many people listen to you when you only speak once every five or ten minutes. Well they never answered my question, the topic of conversation changed quickly; one of the other ladies didn't smile for the rest of dinner; and I moved over a seat and engaged in a productive conversation.
    Often I start these posts with a quote. Today I am going to leave you with a few quotes of my own, "To trip a man solely because he is walking, that is malice." I cry out to you... "Beware! For evil does not lunge upon a man in full form. It creeps, taking but one little concession at a time."
    On the way back from that tournament I wrote this "In order to cause a generation to forget those lessons learned from history, one need only to talk about that history in a light, jovial, and careless manner." Heed the lessons learned from our ancestors in the past. Open the history books. Read them aloud in the streets if need be. Let us never laugh in the face of evil, for if we ever think we are that far above it....we are terribly mistaken. Let us never be kicked by the ass twice.

Story of Clarity?

     A flash, a moment, the point where his thoughts proceeded faster than time itself. Call it imagination or premonition, does it really matter the name? In one second he saw something which could be; in that second he saw with, both absolute clarity and deepest haze.
     While on the phone the young woman asks him, "Could you grab my bags for me". He nods with his usual lack of expression, she walks in the hotel still talking to whoever was on the phone. He follows, she turns toward the elevator. The suit and skirt outline her figure as the heals provide height and sway. He stops for a moment seeing nothing else. Then the image strikes him of a loveless marriage, little more than a partnership. She knows he is reliable. He knows her talents and abilities. He sees many nights in hotels on her necessary business. He sees a large house that's empty, certainly not a home. He sees people he doesn't know, who know more than himself. He sees a sad ending, an early brokenness. And just like that he returns. He feels as if he was gone for years but she is only a few more steps ahead of him. He remembers to exhale, then walks on.
     So here this story told to me, is again told to you, as our existences intersect before we walk on.

Today's Change

     This is who I am...today. Do not be fooled; we are creations who change. Even now I drift from what I have been to what I will become. Though I am caught in a strong current, it is ever changing with me as I change. This is but a temporary house and place to stay for a night, or a year; but I will continue away from here eventually. At the end of this river is the place when the current ends and I can place my feet on solid ground. At the end of this journey is the place I can truly call home. At the end of this sojourn is the place of true peace and joy. There lies rest for the weary, love for the forgotten, and a home for the restless. This is but a lull in the current, and a pause in my thoughts. Come journey with me if but for a short time. We will teach each other of who we have been and we will become together.

School Confidence

    Milton once claimed "Confidence imparts a wondrous inspiration to its possessor.--It bears him on in security, either to meet no danger, or to find matter of glorious trial." Confidence here I remind you is not to be miss-defined as arrogance. Confidence is indeed something that must be built, and a long term project it is. I do not mean an empty hollow confidence which is merely a facade. I am referring to knowing that you can trust yourself, that in a tight situation you have the ability to overcome it, no matter what it may be.
    In my classes which started recently, I was quickly reminded of of how little true confidence there is in these students. They go about perfectly fine in their own small world with their own small friends. I'm talking about high school students who look well enough at a quick glance. Really, they are talking to each other and getting average grades and paying average attention to the teacher, but is that true confidence? I see a lack to critical thinking and logic. They are like walking computers programed with specific responses to specific questions so they can pass the standardized problems in life. Every once in a while I see one of them faced with and problem outside their small comfort zone, and just like a PC (sorry I couldn't resist my inner nerd) they crash. They crash back onto their parents or a teacher to bail them out and solve whatever it was. Now I'm not knocking reasonable help. God knows we need it from time to time and there are several students I've notice with good self-confidence.
    I was blessed with parents, and a father specifically who laid the foundations of analytical thinking and troubleshooting in me at a young age. He gave me problems to solve and taught me to think in a very real and applicable way. The experiences that he gave me, the experiences that he allowed me to acquire are an integral part of my self-confidence. Sure I failed, rather often. I made a fool out of my self once or twice, but less of a fool than the kid next to me, who didn't try at all, probably looks today. I am confident that I will fail sometimes. I am confident that even if I fail I will learn from my mistakes. I am confident that the reward is worth the risk.
    Dad here's to you. Thanks for all the experiences and pushes you gave me. I can figure out what's wrong with that engine and fix it, just as easily as I can talk to my state representative. I can design a small website, just as easily as I can write poetry. I can learn my way around a sound system from scratch, just as easily as I can cook a sage apple stir-fry from scratch. Because you taught me how to have confidence, I can do all these things and more. You showed me how to learn something I didn't know. Thank you.

Motherly Advice

    The well known President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln once said, "All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." The less known President, John Quincy Adams, had stated earlier, "All that I am my mother made me." Now I'm not going to address how I believe that there should be a stronger fatherly influence especially in today's American culture where most children grow up without a father figure at all.
    I want to mention something I have noticed especially in the home-schooling (That is, the child's parents, mostly mothers, teach them at home or in small classes together with other home-schoolers. Usually based in Judeo-Christian morals and beliefs.) community near me. I'm certainly not sexist in the usual sense of the word. I do, however, believe that men and women have equal yet different roles. I see that the seventeen, eighteen, year old seniors are not what I would hope they would be. I would hope that I could say, 'Look at this next generation of men and women, they are ready to change the world.' instead I look and think to myself (for a large part), 'Another bunch of boys and girls, when will they grow up?' I observe that perhaps moms, you should let your kids grow up. If your son misplaced his cell phone, don't crawl around on your hands and knees looking for it while he just stands there. Mothers, maybe, your job isn't to take care of your children at this age. It might be to raise them up to be men and women. You might have to let them make some mistakes. Moms don't answer questions directed at your kids, if your "kids" are capable of doing so on their own.
    John Stuart Mill once said "Men are men before they are lawyers, or physicians, or merchants, or manufacturers; and if you make them capable and sensible men, they will make themselves capable and sensible lawyers or physicians." Mothers, love your sons, give them that advice about the weather and how he might need a jacket, but in the end try to raise them to be capable and sensible.
    I would like to praise all the mother's out there. The work you do to raise your children is incredibly difficult. I am not trying to belittle you or what you do, just suggesting a possible way to improve. My mother needed incredible patience and perseverance with me (can't you tell), so here's thanks to you mom.
    What do you most appreciate about your mother?

Meant for Many

See the place for many, when empty.
But slowly now it starts to fill,
and the noise it begins to rise.
Faces friendly and faces not
looking to and fro,
for their own small space in that place.

They gather here and there, I notice
with the him or her they most prefer.
And every now and then I spot,
a certain he or she,
who is by chance or purpose,
making their place with me.

www.mattspoems.com/home/meant-for-many

Regretful Opportunities

     One of the strongest feelings I have ever felt is regret. It eats at your soul, asking questions about what could have been. It hides in the past where you can't touch it, and attacks your mind in the present. I regret many things, both large and small, the many chances I missed and the many opportunities I saw and yet chose to ignore. I take the known path and it gives me security. It keeps me safe, in a way. I have often chosen to take the road more traveled and it has made life, predictable. Martin Luther King once said that "For truth and duty it is ever the fitting time; who waits until circumstances completely favor his undertaking, will never accomplish anything" I believe I am inclined to agree with him.
     While I was out of town this summer, I attended a two week conference. The seats were assigned and I sat next to a nice young lady for about eight hours a day, everyday for those two weeks. Now I did meet some amazing people though, if you ever met them, they will testify to the fact that I'm not the best at making friends. I regret, however, that I didn't get to know the young lady sitting next to me. I watched her, observed her if you will, but I didn't get to know her. I could tell you she was sweet and kind with a soft smile that made you want to smile with her. I could tell her handwriting out of a hundred others but I couldn't tell much about her, about the person. Opportunity, that is an understatement, all that time I spent so engaged in what I needed to hear and learn that I found a 'logical' reason for not making small talk. I used a good reason, a good objective as a mere shield to keep others at a distance. I missed the chance to get to known a unique individual because I had 'more important' things to do, or at least that's what I told myself. I always want the timing to be just right before I put myself out there. I always need to know the circumstances before I risk anything, even if the risk is almost nothing at all. I'm going to try to seize more opportunities when they come my way, even if they are not 'completely favoring my undertaking'. Will you?
     I would love to know what has happened to you because you didn't miss an opportunity? What chances have you taken that proved to be completely worth it in the end?

Believable Apologies

     A man named C. Simmons once claimed that "Accurate knowledge is the basis of correct opinions; the want of it makes the opinions of most people of little value." For the most part I can say that I agree with Mr. Simmons; however, I think that the opinions or rather I would say that the beliefs of people matter a great deal, to them.
     If people act based on what they value or on what they consider to be important, then it might be advantageous to learn how people determine value or worth. In order to find this I believe that the answer lies in the fundamental answers to life's most important questions, like 'who am I?' 'from where did I come?' 'is there a god?' 'what is right and wrong?'. The person, who believes that he (or she) is a massive collection of cells that evolved from some 'lower' life form, is going to value different things than the person who believes that they were uniquely created in the likeness of an infinite god. Just as someone who thinks that everything is merely a part of one large life force that cycles around, will behave differently than the person who says 'we are all gods you just have to get away from all the distractions to find your true god-self.'
     Now it's not like every time we do anything we say 'wait a minute...what do I believe about this?' No certainly not. If people's actions are based in beliefs, it would have to be, for the most part, subconscious. Now using this premise, essentially that 'ultimately people's actions are determined in large part by their fundamental beliefs or assumptions about the world', I am going to be writing on several areas of 'belief' having to do with those big life questions in some of my future blog posts.
    But right now I'm curious, just in general what do you value in life? What do you want to get out of life?

Post Script: I apologize for not having written in a while, I have been out of town for the past month or two.

Timely Questions

    "What is time?-The shadow on the dial, the striking of the clock, the running of the sand, day and night, summer an winter, months, years, centuries-these are but the arbitrary and outward signs-the measure of time, not time itself. Time is the life of the soul." Thus stated the great poet known to many simply by his last name, Longfellow.
    Indeed I believe that most people have asked that question at one point in their life or another. What is time? It should be among the great human inquires next to 'Who am I?' and 'Why am I here?'. If one approached me for the answer to that question I would likely stop, and think very intently for quite a while...and then I would say something similar to this, 'As a single piece of paper is to a book, so is each moment to that great concept called time. A piece of paper is (almost) two dimensional. If removed from a book it tells but a part of the story, explains only a portion of the equation, shows only half of the proverb. Books are three dimensional and they tell the complete story, explain the entire equation, and show the whole proverb. Each single moment which we are able to comprehend is composed of three dimensions. Time is that fourth dimension. Something must first exist, it must then have depth and height for it to be perceived, and finally time, so that the thing might grow, evolve, and affect other things. That is time.
    Somehow I don't feel that my answer is any any better than Longfellow's. In fact I would say my answer is slightly confusing. We could say "time is the life of the soul" and that's all very well and good; but then I would question "what is the life of the soul"? Could anyone answer that question rightly? Perhaps time is less something to be defined, and more something to be felt.
    So I ask...What is time to you?

Prepared Marriage

     Last week I read book titled, Letters to Philip. It was written by Charlie W. Shedd. It is a series of letters from a father who is a pastor and counselor on the topic of marriage and specifically on a man's role in it. Now I'm not married, so take my opinion as one who has no first hand experience with a wife. I enjoyed it so much that I read the entire book in two days. (not a spectacular feat in itself, the book isn't that large, but considering my schedule...) In fact I thought it was so insightful that I went and checked out the sister book of, Letters to Karen, written by the same man. I am now planning on going back and rereading the book slowly. Often, especially in the christian community, I think we don't properly prepare the next generation for marriage. It isn't a surprise to me when the divorce rate is higher than 50%. How many huge decisions will you make life near to the importance of finding a wife (or husband)? Career and college are the closest of which I can think. The book was less on finding a wife, though I have read several on that subject, and more on describing how to relate to your wife and common problems and solutions. Like I said I've never been married so my praise of the book is both untested and difficult to articulate. I found the 29 letters worth reading and I hope to one day discover if his ideas actually work.
     Were you well prepared for marriage? How do you plan on preparing your children for the big decision? Finally, if you are married, what do you love most about your spouse?

Friendly Proverbs Continued

This is a continuation of the list from my last post.
      A wise person...
Acknowledges God in all his ways
Honors God with what he has
Loves God's correction
Is happy when he finds wisdom
Doesn't keep good from those who deserve it
Is trustworthy
Doesn't strive with a man, unless he has a cause to do so
Stays away from whores
Gets out of bad contracts quickly
Is not lazy
Has or gives good council
Has common sense
Loves someone who rightly rebukes him
Receives instruction
Stores knowledge
Restrains his lips
Keeps peace with his neighbors
Doesn't betray confidences
Listens to advice
Talks only when it is right
Chooses his friends wisely
Listens to his parents
Walks with people who are wise
Runs away from someone when he finds they are a fool
Is not quick tempered
Merciful on the poor
Slow to wrath
Shares knowledge
Seeks knowledge
Makes his father happy (if possible and right)
Will be called prudent
Speaks wisdom
Develops a reputation for being wise
Is teachable
Has a calm spirit
Speaks cautiously
Is not led astray by alcohol
Sees when sin is coming and removes themselves from it
People in authority are drawn to him
Doesn't drink when he controls the fate of others

     During my study I found many repetitions which I did not include in my list. The most common description was in regards to what the "wise" man says. It would appear that what one says is very important in how one is perceived. I find several things interesting but I would like to say that I have no training in Hebrew nor am I a scholar of theology, so I leave myself open to correction.
     I noticed that it didn't say the wise man never got angry or wrathful, he is just slow to wrath and he doesn't strive with a man, without a cause. The wise man also must be quick to listen both to criticism and instruction. If someone, human or God Himself, corrects the man rightly or rebukes him correctly, it should cause him to love that person all the more. I will admit this last concept is one that I see rarely. In the future I will endeavor to  put this and all the other criteria into practice.
     Now that you have seen all this, do you consider yourself to be a 'wise' person? Are you becoming wiser and developing relationships with wise people?

Friendly Proverbs

     The well know passage from Proverbs seventeen begins something like this, "A friend loves at all times..." That seems like a fairly good description of a friend to me. Last year when I moved to a new state I decided that I would try to make the best friends I could, this seemed like a great plan but there was one problem. How do I know who would make a good friend? How do I know if they will 'love at all times'? Also in the book of Proverbs, It says that "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." I wish to become wise and I do not desire to suffer harm, my answer was simple, I will become friends with wise people. Again I found myself in a small conundrum. How do I know if a person is wise? It was at this point that I set out on a journey through (the book of) Proverbs making a list of what it directly says regarding the characteristics of a wise person. Here is the basic outline that I derived from my study.

A wise person...
Listens
Learns
Gets wise advice
Listens to his dad
Obeys his mother
Stays away from situations where others are sinning
Has discretion
Has understanding
Stays away from people who
...say perverse things
...rejoice in evil
...cheat
...flatter
Trusts the Lord
Doesn't trust his own knowledge

     This is the first part of my list and I would continue writing, but alas I must arise earlier than usual and, subsequently, need to get some rest before I do so. I will try to continue this shortly, (as opposed to finishing this longly).
     How do you and how did you choose your friends? Did you just happen upon them and fall into friendship? Did you specifically seek a few of them out and try to become friends? Lastly I would like to ask you a more personal question. Are you a good friend?

Speaking

     Yesterday evening, the local high school debate club put on a production entitled "Be the Music". The idea was Christians are supposed to be the music in the world like there is music in the background of a movie. Aside from needing someone to teach them how to hold a mic and a few other sound issues they did a good job. I knew the members who wrote the skits and some of the monologues, they have talent. I even turned my cell phone to silent before the performance, something which I only do once or twice a year. Those who can inspire and move others with nothing but words, have the potential to be even more destructive than an atomic bomb, or to usher in a new age of peace. God protect us from the first and send us the latter.
     I choose not to speak more often than I choose to speak. Most sayings of the wise, or those considered to be wise, urge the reader to be slow to speak. I am not the best conversationalist, for I often am too slow to speak. I would like to leave you with this thought for the speaker. A man named Alexander Gregg once said, "There are three things to aim at in public speaking; first to get into your subject, then to get your subject into yourself, and lastly, to get your subject into your hearers."
     For the readers who do not desire to stand before the multitudes, I would give this quote from Voltaire, "There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable."
     Do you speak sometimes, too quickly? Are you often too afraid to speak up? I would remind everyone that you don't have to deceive or be silent. There is a third option, to speak brave and boldly for that which you know to be true.

Conversational Realizations

     With whom do you talk? I speak with people that I desire to know or understand (often I am forced by necessity to converse in order to avoid appearing inconsiderate). I had a conversation today with a friend of someone with whom I speak. I came to the realization that the two minute dialogue was the longest I had spoken to her...ever. I stated to analyze the possible causes for this. First, I had never truly tried to converse with her. A rather unobjective decision on my part, for I find her 'humor' of extreme exaggeration coupled with sarcasm to be annoying. Second, I have never seen her with out at least one or two or her friends by her side. This passing today while I was working on something, was the first time I recall having the opportunity to speak with only her. Third, those afore mentioned friends talk more than she does, so in a conversation one doesn't talk to any single person but the collective. This would seem to be a common tend amongst groups of young ladies. I find she is much more interesting and not quite as 'humorous' when she is separated from the group, a fact which was quite intriguing to myself.
     Why do you speak to people? Who is someone that you see often and yet with whom you rarely speak? I will try to be more aware of the people and the conversations. I offer the same proposal to you, take notice first of your surroundings, second of the people therein, and last of the conversations that one finds hidden there.

Nonspatial Continuum and William Jennings Bryan

     Time. Webster currently defines time as "...a nonspatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future". My schedule for the next several weeks is full of events succeeding one another very swiftly. I may not be able to properly maintain this blog during those periods of nonspatial continuum; however, I will do my best to provide y'all with interesting posts.
    William Jennings Bryan (1860–1925) died a few days after the famous scopes trial in Dayton TN. He never got to deliver his last speech, it was presented a few days later. I read part of this speech recently and found his reasonings and the conveyance of those ideas intriguing.
     "There is no more reason to believe that man descended from some inferior animal than there is to believe that a stately mansion has descended from a small cottage. Resemblances are not proof-they simply put us on inquiry. As one fact, such as the absence of the accused from the scene of the murder, outweighs all the resemblances that a thousand witnesses could swear to, so the inability of science to trace any one of the millions of species to another species, outweighs all the resemblances upon which evolutionists rely to establish man's blood relationship with the brutes. But while the wisest scientists cannot prove a pushing power, such as evolution is supposed to be, there is a lifting power that any child can understand. The plant life lifts the mineral up into a higher world, and the animal lifts the plant up into a world still higher. So, it has been reasoned my analogy, man rises not by a power within him, but only when drawn upward by a higher power. There is a spiritual gravitation that draws all souls toward heaven, just as surely as there is a physical force that draws all matter of the surface of the earth towards the earth's center. Christ is our drawing power; He said, 'I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me,' and His promise is being fulfilled daily all over the world." -William Jennings Bryan
     What do you believe? How did man come into being? Did he evolve or was he created?

Short Post on Life

     Recently I was pondering what is the best way to measure life. Is life measurable? I don't mean years but, quality. It seems a lot of people think its all about what you did, what makes a great story. If you could judge life by the funny stories of stupid stuff you did, then I would measure rather low on life. I am rather cautious and can sometimes double and triple check whatever I'm doing. (Insert clever and intriguing quote about life here) Some people consider life is meaningless without a purpose or a 'higher' calling, and they measure life by what you have done in service to that god or gods. Even a few people think that life is nothing more than here and now, live it up before it's gone. Also I find that a persons view of life is greatly dependant of their view of heaven, hell, or some other afterlife.
     What do you believe? What is a good definition of life? How do you measure the quality of life? Do you think there is an afterlife of some kind?

History Notes?

     I just finished typing two full pages of notes for a friend who couldn't make it to the review in a class we both have. Now that's not to say hey look at me aren't I nice. On the contrary she (my friend) is certainly one of my favorite people. I'm not saying I'm in love with her but I do like her. I don't say that 'I like' anyone very easily or quickly but there are I would say about 4-5 people my age with whom I hang out that 'I like'. 
     Anyway... while I was taking the notes I thought about all the people in the class and determined for whom I would be willing to take notes. 'No not him, he is really lazy.' 'No not her, she always tries to use her good looks to get everything she wants.' and so forth, you get the idea. There are I would say at most two or three students whom I would help if they asked. I know they are diligent, intelligent, and kind, all qualities I hold in high regard. History notes are not a life and death situation and I feel that I have fair stipulations for giving my assistance. (Oh I just realized that another one of those people to whom I would send notes wasn't there either. I will send them a copy since I have it typed already.)
     Who do you help? How do you categorize the people in your life? Are you as reserved as I am with calling people 'my friend'?

Good Morning

     Over the past weekend several people have asked me "How are you doing?" and I have replied rather simply, "Normal." This, as I review it, probably sounded very rude to them. But I am caught between actually responding to them truthfully, which people usually don't want you to do, or almost lying by saying "fine", "good" or another common answer. I think I will try for the rest of the week to respond fully and truthfully to the generic "How are you doing?". I think that people who really care about me will appreciate my answer and people that really don't care will not ask me again. I will tell you how it goes. Do people really care 'how I am' or is it just a saying like hello that doesn't bear any feeling?
    I am drawn to remember Tolken's The Hobbit. In the very first chapter there is a conversation, which is partially related to this topic, when Gandalf comes to Bilbo and Bilbo says "Good Morning". If you haven't read The Hobbit then you should at least read that discourse near the beginning. I find it most refreshing and amusing.
     So I am left to ask you, how are you doing?